I had made promises to myself that I would fill the pages of this blog with adventures, with recollections of how life has inspired me. I still haven’t moved. I have been working quite a lot. Something a good friend of mine shared was about being too busy making a living that you forget to make a life. That’s me and I can honestly say, it’s shit.
This week alone, on 2 separate occasions, I came home early from work with every intension to continue my 52 week project only to find myself uninspired, lazy and in every way unhappy. Don’t get me wrong, when I am at work, I put 100% into my work and the challenges that I have face there excites me. However, the though of me not creating depresses me.
This afternoon I came home in bright daylight ready to head out and pour all my thoughts into a photograph but I couldn’t muster up the strength to get off the bed. I felt so divided between my need to create and how my tiredness. I watched netflix while resenting every minute of it. My room started to close in on me and I just decided to gather my thoughts in my thinking chamber, the shower.
I realised something. As I always do while in the shower. I realised that maybe I’m just not meant to create anything right now but that does not stop me from creating tomorrow! I shouldn’t slave away creating images when it will most likely lead to me creating my own unhappiness.
I need to stop waiting for a moment to enjoy and start enjoying the moment. I am learning to realise that you don’t have to be completely satisfied to be happy. So as a gift to myself for working so hard these past few days, I plan on brewing up my favourite tea and enjoying the night wherever it takes me. I suggest you do the same.
