I sometimes stumble on my own words, I wish I could be more succinct. I wish I could think less and just do. There are so many things I would like to say to a lot of people but I don’t. I hold my tongue and I just keep going with life as is.
Most of the time I can find contentment in the everyday routine. I find small moments in between that feels a little magical and I hold on to it for the rest of the day. But there are days where I feel trapped and I just need to get out of the routine, the ongoing loop.
Quitting is easier said than done. There are too many people involved, too many people I really care about. Don’t worry, this is not a suicidal type of post, I don’t do that, I appreciate the life I have been given. It’s not even a bad life, but it does lack the freedom that others have.
Admittedly I get envious of those people who can just drop everything and leave, with their only plan being to let life happen. That’s not me I guess, that is someone that maybe I will one day learn to be. For now, I am a responsible “adult” – using this term very loosely with people depending on me to show up and to do what I do. I need to trust myself that I am doing the right thing and that this is how I can get myself to the life I want to live.
At the end of the day, it is okay to live a life you don’t want to be living if you are heading in the right direction. You have to go through shit to be able to really appreciate the end result. That’s just life.
Behind the Image
I also wanted to share with you the before and after photo of this edit. Don’t mind my weird expression on the right there. I am quite happy with how this one turned out! Hope you are getting the message that I am trying to convey… Although, I just thought of a better image that I could have done. Ah well, maybe another time!