The trouble with being completely unreckless is that you never seem to get anywhere. Yes, I realise unreckless is not a word, but right now it’s as good as any. When you are unreckless, your life is set on a rather narrow path. It was a choice I made long ago, my way of life. I can’t blame anyone but myself for it but sometimes in my moments of weakness, I question my decisions.
There are days. Oh there are days where I am afraid of sharing snippets of my life here for I fear that in 10 years time I may come to realise that life failed to move me because I was standing in the wrong spot for too long. I hate that my choices are made based on what I need rather than what I want.
As consolation, I say yes. I keep an open mind, I learn as many skills as I possibly can. I do as many things as I am able. I do it all but one. I am not brave. I lack the conviction to pursuit something that I know in my heart I love. I am too afraid to walk towards the unknown.
What can you do when you feel too overwhelmed to change but suffocated by the decisions you have made? Envious of the unknown but still comforted by your plans?
You wait.
It’s bad advice but you wait for something to move you in a way you have never felt before. Something that will be worth the lack of certainty.
You trust.
You trust that there is something out there to make you happier than you would every believe. Something that will turn you reckless.
